Baby (Toddler!!!!) David Update

All About David, 13 months

This sweet boy, we love him so much!  He is 13 months old, and doing wonderfully! 

David loves to:
-pull electrical wires
-dump out bookshelves, pots and pans, CDs from the CD tower, and puzzles
-run away when it's time to get his diaper changed
-take a moment to sneak into the girls' bedroom if it's open
-go up and down stairs
-when Daddy calls, he yells excitedly, ADAH! ADAH! and pretends to talk on the phone often
-pushing cars around on the floor, chewing on marker caps, and throwing balls
-climb on things- we call him "King of the Dolls" because he climbs the dollhouse!
-when Nesi comes at him giving crazy tickles and hugs
-when Adira carries him around, mommy-style on her hip
-playing with Zaida when he babysits during Sunday morning basketball practice
-when Aunt Tammy does funny things for him
-Boys Time- Daddy takes him out so the rest of us can have Girls Time
-baths- sometimes he loves it, sometimes he hates it!
-he likes to drink water straight out of the faucet of the sink if he can grab it
-he likes to climb onto the dishwasher and into small spaces!
-he loves the big red Little Tykes car that Bonnie got the girls years ago
-take his naps- I'm trying to keep him on two naps for a while to come
-nursing!!!

Other ways he expresses himself:
-he starts throwing food on the floor when he is done
-he says "nuh nuh nuh" and waves his pointer finger when he is approaching a no-no activity!
-waving.  THIS IS HIS THING.  He is a great waver.  Hello, goodbye, just because, to family, to strangers!  He is very, very friendly!
-we are teaching him "so gentle" when he touches someone or an animal.  He used to pull hair pretty badly on the girls and Mommy but maybe that's finally going away now :)
-he says "muh muh" for mama, sometimes, when i'm lucky!
-he likes petting dogs!  not at all afraid (doesn't know to be!)

The Secrets of Happy Families- Book review, by Bruce Feiler

Bruce Feiler scours the worlds of business, psychology, sports, the military, interior design, finances, and more to find the best practices that can be applied to families, too.  Everything he wrote about is backed up by recent research from multiple fields (which I am not citing.)  I highly recommend this book- it was entertaining to read (partly because written by a man!) and really full of helpful ideas.  Every so often I think it's good to refresh our ideas about family management, and not just go on autopilot.  It also reminds me to look back at my book review posts from the past few years and remember and put back into re-use the highlights!

Practices of agile families- based on successful business practices
Self directed morning check-list
why?
-kids find it comforting on groggy mornings to be able to go through the list of what they need to do
-parents can focus on the "softer side of parenting"
-teaches kids to be responsible and get the complete job done
-kids learn and enjoy the satisfaction of checking off the list
View our lists with words and clip art for non-readers on google drive (new window:)

Family meetings
-why?  because it's a built in mechanism for communication and reflection
-start with a drumroll or something else fun
-sitting on soft surfaces, in a circle formation, eating from same meal, and holding warm drinks are proven to make people act more kindly, cooperate like a team, and find their commonalities
-allows a time that kids know "tough subjects" may be brought up in a safe environment to discuss them.  i.e., not a crazy idea to sit down and talk to parents
-three questions to discuss
1) what things went well in our family this week?
2) what things could we improve in our family?
3) what things do we want to work on this week?

Miscellaneous:
-Go fast, but don't rush!
-to maximize sibling relationships and minimize conflict, have kids spend time beforehand engaged in a joint activity that reaffirms their connection
-most people have either a great family or a great career, and the other one is average.  The only way to have both be awesome is to apply the same level of passion and energy to your family as you do to your work.  Avoid that assymetry! (p.52.)
-synergize: build family unity while celebrating differences
-scientific studies show a persistent correlation between religiosity and happy families, and men with community religious participation as good, involved fathers and happy husbands.
-sitting at right angles is good for conversation,
-chores = "taking care of your awesome stuff"
-playing games together is a way to experience a common thing, when otherwise, kids and adults live in different kinds of mental worlds (online recs - Zynga, words with friends, cityville and farmville)
-try making an "Amazing Race" for a family vacation- creates teamwork
-"you're the kind of person who...(gets up and tries again.)" etc., from sports chapter, p.225. positive reinforcement builds self-esteem
-family boot camp- p.246. wow- forging a closer bond through crazy overnight missions!

Family dinners
-more about the family, less about the dinner (can be breakfast, or just a couple sacred times a week)
-kids knowing about their family history was the single best predictor of children's emotional health and happiness
-this makes a case for telling family history- stories and photo albums ;-) ;-) ;-) !!!
-the message is that a person with a strong "intergenerational self," who is connected to something bigger than themselves, is more resilient.  The family message is "we've had our ups and downs, but we've always stuck together and stuck it out."
-making really memorable family traditions strongly develops connectedness.
-lots of talking and listening.
-"hunger games:" playing word and talking games at the table.  word of the day (use it in a sentence), autobiographical story telling, alliteration, Q&A, etc.

Branding your family- family mission statements
-"the family brand is a clear, articulate vision of what we want our family to be and what values we want our children to uphold."  can be brief or detailed.
-80 words to help you describe your family identity (p. 66)
-create home environment where kids know exactly what is expected of them
-use a visualization exercise where a person narrates to themselves a description of their "best possible selves."  Research shows this is even more powerful than gratitude exercises.
-gives clarity and framework for dealing with life- because sometimes life comes at you in challenging, unexpected ways.

Five step process for fighting smart:
-isolate your emotions
-observe the bigger picture (go to the balcony)
-consider the other side's perspective
-don't reject, rather, reframe
-build them a golden bridge

teaching kids to manage money
-the chapter had lots of good options to consider from families who do give allowance, do not give allowance, pay for chores, do not pay for chores, encourage investment and savings through artificially high interest rates at the Bank of Mom and Dad, those who do not, etc.
-FamZoo is an awesome family money management website/app the author recommended
-most impact made when someone would have to give back a "gift" i.e.: you want Joey to make his bed.  You pay him $2 a week but if he doesn't make his bed he has to give it back.  That seems to be more powerful (based on studies) than rewarding him for making his bed, or delivering a negative consequence.
-money categories: mine, ours (family fun), share, save

Talking about tough stuff with kids
-if you talk about the little problems now, you can talk about the big problems later
-see chapter 7, the mom who made a huge, public, celebratory identity for herself as being the one all the kids could talk to about sex, coming of age, etc.
-impt. to name body parts because if you use a vague or incorrect term it implies there is something bad about it or can't be spoken of specifically
-talk to girls about getting their period earlier, not later!  it can help them be calm, proud, or excited instead of scared
-a "period party" is a special way to mark the time- give a care package, a fancy dinner, a shopping trip, something special like ear piercing, etc

Mom's 5th Yartzheit - thoughts on striving and success as a parent

Tonight begins my mom's fifth yartzheit -October 7, 2015/ Tishrei 25, 5766. As with every day, I think of my mom so much.  We wish she could have been with us for so much longer.  She was so beloved.  She left us with such a legacy for living, even while dying from a nasty disease, illustrated in one memorable way by giving the entire family gifts from the "Life is Good" brand during her last Chanukah season.  Tonight, when Adira saw the yartzheit candle, she said, "Oh, Grandma, I love you so much!"  That makes me happy that I have spoken about her enough and so positively that she feels like saying that. (See this page on my blog for the "Lesson from Mom" bookmark, and this inspirational, cute, sometimes funny, somewhat cheesy and haphazardly completed video version of it, both links open on new pages.)  

If you are blessed to be a mother, and have learned from your own mother, just appreciate for a moment the incredible balance and effort it takes for a mother to give exactly what her child needs and wants.  If you look back over time, and can say that you are proud of your mother, consider yourself so fortunate.  Every day with a family takes effort and planning (and forgiveness when we fail) to try to live our dreams and be the person and parent we really want to be.  If your mother gave her balanced love and support to you, or at least according to your best recollection she did pretty well, be grateful. It isn’t easy for some of us (author included!) to do it, but we are striving!  If at some point in your life, earlier or later, young or mature, you felt that you just couldn’t get enough of your mom, be thankful!  That’s a wonderful feeling to have and you are blessed. 

I think that my kids can’t get enough of me- at least when they are aware of their desire to connect through joy and love or through neediness.  That inspires me to keep trying to be the best mom I can be, to give them the life gift of stable, emotional, and practical support that they crave.  (Someone please remind me of that about five times every day, please!)  I really want that close connection to endure and guide us through the ages and stages ahead.  I want my girls to come talk to me and for us to share a great loving connection.  I think about the ways in which my mom supported us, her kids, as long as she lived.  We all just loved the sound of her voice, the feel of her arm around our shoulder, the texture of her hands which worked hard both inside and outside.  She would quietly come up to our rooms and offer a listening ear or helpful advice when we were troubled.  She was such a genuine, kind, fair, and generous person; I would be surprised if she left any enemies behind, ever!  She taught us so many lessons of derech eretz (proper ways of living*) and Torah.  She was gentle, patient, tolerant, and rarely judged others.  She was equally at ease with toddlers, adults, and the elderly.  She might have some wry comment to make that would show her "normal" side but it was always still respectful.  She could never contain her joy, frequently laughing and coming to tears, but did try to keep her suffering from cancer to herself to spare her loving survivors.  I think she did an excellent job as a parent, and she certainly left me wanting more of her, wanting her life to last many more decades overlapping with mine.  But I’m thankful that I had a such a reliable mother, for whatever length G-d gave her, because not everyone has that blessing.

On my mom’s yartzheit, I wish for all of us parents this blessing: may we be granted extra siyata dish’maya (heavenly assistance) to fulfill our dreams, parent according to our ideals, help fill our kids’ buckets of self-esteem, and properly prepare them for succeeding and dealing with the many facets of life.  In other words, help us find our superhero capes!  And may those magical capes of our strong, positive, resilient thoughts help us get through our own ups and downs and keep believing in our potential to be increasingly greater.

*I should have asked for a pardon and foregiveness in advance, because my mom would not have approved of referring to one's parents as "she" and "he."  Mom was very good at teaching proper etiquette and respect for parents!  It may seem almost impossible, but that was the level of proper etiquette she hoped we could attain.  (There I go again with "she!" Well, we can't all be perfect... :) )

side bar:

For the many of you who have enjoyed your copy of the "Mom-mark" that I made after she passed, here's a twin-set of something I did not include but thought would be great to add!  "Get organized and keep good records, but allow yourself a few small places for junk and favorite treasures!"

Mom was famous (at least within our family) for the great packing lists she had for camping trips (with notes of what worked and failed), the great family tree histories she completed, being a great secretary of gifts received (for TY note writing purposes), and more.  She was extremely organized, but made it look easy (because it most likely made life easier to be organized, as I find for myself!)  She had a "junk drawer" in the kitchen full of random items for downstairs use.  She also had a long dresser in her bedroom (now it's in mine!) beautifully arranged with artifacts from her four decades of travels, kids' school projects, and little treasures, and a place in some of the drawers for special things.

The beginning of a milestone school year & parenting transitions

As of last week, both of our kids are in school full day!  They are doing great!

The full school day schedule is intended to enable me to re-launch my teaching career and be available to work- first as a substitute in public and private schools, and later as a specialized and certified full teacher.  Until that process accelerates, I am catching up on procrastinated projects around the house and working on a very exciting Tot Shabbat program for NHBZ Congregation, which I will lead three times over the Tishrei holidays and monthly thereafter.  Working on the program has given me the chance to appreciate all that I can contribute to the community at large, which would be a bit more dormant during kids-at-home times.  It's nice to return to developing my professional self for more time each day, but it's with mixed feelings, as I miss all the kid time!

This change of schedule is a big deal!  I am used to have Adira home from 12pm onwards every school day, and Nesya home every day!  I definitely miss them a lot when they are at school longer.  I was their primary influence for the last three years and five and a a half years, respectively, and now they are being entrusted to their morahs and teachers.

Now, I am acknowledging my feelings of missing them during the long day, but also looking at it from a new perspective.  I am able to get so much done without as many snack and meal times, squabble-resolving, and kids' activities.  It's quite grand!  The time is passing fairly quickly as I have enough to do for now.  And I'm really excited about going back into work, and I hope that picks up very soon.

One new and important perspective is that I am trying to be the kind of mother they will long to "be like" when they are older, the way I feel about my mom's legacy.  I think about her so much and try to emulate her qualities.  I have finally come to truly understand now how the relationship with one's parents really sets the tone for one's connection with the Almighty.  It's still hard to articulate, but I will figure that out and share more later

A great article found on Aha! Parenting: 5 Secrets To Nurture Intimacy with Your Child

A great article found on Aha! Parenting

5 Secrets To Nurture Intimacy with Your Child

Intimacy is the glue that holds families together. It's what connects us over the years, and across the miles. It's what gets us through the hard times. It's the grease that smooths the rough interactions of everyday life, and the honey that makes it all worth it.

Intimacy is hard to define, but we all know when we're feeling it. Whether it's crying on your best friend's shoulder after a tragedy or snuggling in companionable silence with your spouse in front of the fire, intimacy is when we feel connected.

How we humans build connections with each other, how we deepen them, and how we repair them when they fray is both as simple as a warm smile and as mysterious as the way the ground lurches when we see a picture of someone we have loved and lost.

John Gottman, one of my favorite researchers, has distilled the creating of intimate relationships down to their practical essence. It turns out that the building blocks of connection are the small overtures we make to each other every day, and the way our loved ones respond. Gottman calls these bids, as in "bids for attention." We could also call them overtures, as in opening movements.

In happy relationships, whether between spouses, parents and children, friends, or coworkers, bids are made and responded to warmly. It almost doesn't matter what the bid is about; the process of reaching out and receiving a response builds the relationship. It also increases the trust level so that we are more likely to reach out to that person again, and the content of the bids deepens.

If we begin with "What a beautiful morning!" and receive an enthusiastic agreement, we may go further and ask our spouse for help in solving a problem that's bothering us. If, on the other hand, our comment is ignored, or greeted with sarcasm, we are unlikely to make ourselves vulnerable in any way, and the relationship loses a chance to deepen.

The same process is enacted with our children in hundreds of daily interactions. If we ask our middle schooler about the upcoming school dance and receive an engaged response, we might venture further and ask whether she's nervous. If, on the other hand, our comment is ignored, or her response is surly, most of us will back off.

So how can you create a more intimate family?

1. Start by paying attention to the "bids" that go on.

What is the tone in your family? Responsive and warm? Distracted and ignoring? Hostile and sarcastic? Does anyone get ignored? Does anyone usually ignore others?

2. Focus on responding positively to your family's bids to you.

It takes real self-discipline to tear yourself away from your screen to answer a child's question, but how you respond to her overture is crucial in building closeness. More important than what you initiate with her later, when you try to get her to tell you about what happened at school today. To support yourself, make it a practice to turn off your screens when you're with your child.

3. If you don't get the response you want to your overtures to your kids, step back and watch how you initiate.

Are you inviting a positive response?

4. If you make an overture and are greeted with something hurtful -- disdain, sarcasm, or blankness -- try not to respond with anger. Instead, show your vulnerability and hurt.

Say "Ouch!" and turn away (before you give in to the temptation to lash out.) Your son or daughter (or spouse!) will almost certainly feel badly about having hurt you, especially since you haven't aroused their ire by attacking back. Later, when you aren't hurt and angry, you can tell them how it made you feel to get that response. Try to talk only about your feelings, not about them being wrong.

Intimacy is a dance. It deepens or is eroded by every interaction we have. The good news is that every interaction you have is a chance to shift onto a positive track and deepen your connection to your loved ones.

Dealing with Anger

Dealing with anger

These ideas were gathered from a recent Mussar class with the NHBZ young families community, Aish.com, and Chabad.org, as well as wise words from people like you and me :)  There is always more that could be said about this human trait, and much more that Jewish sources teach, so here are just some that it helped me to review.
·         Aizehu Gibor? Hakovesh es yitzro.  Who is heroic and strong?  One who controls their urges.  BE A HERO!!!

·         Set example.  If I want my kids to conquer their anger, I need to demonstrate that it is possible. 

·         Leave doors open to communication and love.  Anger will leave burn my bridges with my children.

·         Praise the good, don’t just say “it was good behavior, but that’s what is expected.” Celebrate good behavior.  Be understanding that kids are seeking autonomy and they have to push a little to find how to express it properly.

·         If I want to yell at kids for something bad they are doing, first give myself a “mommy time out” and come back to deal with the kids’ problem which made me angry later, without anger. 

·         Remember that Hashem can see us at all times and we would be ashamed of expressing anger and not dealing with it properly.

·         If we practice controlling our anger, the “control” muscle will get stronger.

·         Set yourself and your family up for success.  Don’t make yourself so busy you are too stressed out.

·         Imagine if you heard a recording of yourself speaking while angry.

·         The Alter Rebbe says: If we believe that what happened is G‑d’s will, we would not become angry at all.

o    Getting angry means you don’t have faith that what’s happening to you is really coming from G‑d. The person you’re angry at is just a messenger. Now, obviously, he or she still had free choice, and will be held accountable. But getting angry is not the answer. Rather than asking, “Why is this person doing this bad thing?” ask a bigger question: “What is G‑d trying to tell me in this moment?” What is my test?  How can I make a tikkun?

·       In human interactions, taking ourselves out of the picture, divesting ourselves of the contaminant of ego is empowering. Not only does it allow us to get a handle on angry and damaging responses, it also allows us to do real listening and get what the other person is really about.  "This is not about me."

·      The ego, the lesser self, is prideful, territorial, arrogant and totally absorbed in its desires and wants. Anger is a reaction of the ego to a perceived affront, a sense of diminution of its power. Frequent anger attacks or outbursts should be warning signals to the individual that the lesser part of themselves has taken up too much space and dominion over their person.

·      Anger is like a blast of frigid air that withers everything in its path. 

·      The Talmud teaches: "When a person gives in to anger, if he is wise, his wisdom leaves him. If he is a prophet, his power of prophecy leaves him; if greatness was decreed for him from Heaven, anger will cause him to be degraded."

·      "Remove anger from your heart and thus remove pain from your body" –King Solomon/Koheles (Ecclesiastes).  The bearer of anger is ultimately the greatest loser on every score --spiritually, emotionally and physically.

Games for education- clipped from Dr. Laura/kidfocused.com

Here are some of games that have great teaching tools for kids:
Play Cards
1. Go Fish- this card game helps kids sort and it helps them think ahead, or strategize. This kind of critical thinking is what many schools sorely lack.  Schools often ask kids rote memorization questions, but critical thinking is the muscle that when flexed causes big learning.
2. Uno- I started with my son when he was 3.  We had an actual Uno deck of cards with the color coordinated cards.  You can also play Crazy Eights with a deck of cards.  Just like Uno but eights are wild cards.  Kids learn card suits with this game, which is a good skill to have.
3. Kings in the Corner- this game spreads across the table, showing kids the order of cards.  It is pattern practice as well.  The cards must be laid out black, red, black, red, and from Kings down to Aces.  Even young children 3 and over can grasp this. Their later teachers will be impressed they are already familiar with pattern formations too.
4. Old Maid- deal all of the cards.  Each person picks a card from the opponent to their left and discards pairs until one person is left with the Old Maid. With the set we have, Ursula from the little mermaid is the old maid.  Young children may have a hard time holding all their cards so have them place them on a table with something to block them from view. The rest of the game is easy enough and it will excite kids about cards, strategy, and help practice good sportsmanship.
Other Games:
5. Work on a puzzle together- some families I know always have a puzzle out on the coffee table.

6. Blow bubbles
7. Invest in a magnetic erase board like the Magna Doodle- tons of fun and you aren't using any paper.  I used this toy with the kids so often I even wrote an article- Ode to the Magna Doodle.  Starting about 18 months you can play one of baby's first games with it- I call the game day/night. Black out the screen and say "Night." With one swipe erase and say "Daytime!" Kids even that little will chuckle- it's so cute.  Soon thereafter kids understood light and dark- as soon as they're old enough to walk, they can help sort laundry after this game. We have the daytime (lights) pile and the nighttime (darks) pile to this day.
8. Hangman- another great game on a magnetic erase board like a Magna Doodle. Very young children can play hangman with 2 and 3 letter words. Older children can play for longer words and phrases. Turn the table and let your child make up the word. When they're young, they may misspell the word, "but there has to be a vowel!" It's great practice and they'll get it soon enough
9. Yahtzee- Today you don't have to buy the full game. You can print the score sheet off the Internet and grab 5 dice.  Bunco is also very close to, and less complicated, than Yahtzee.  Dice games like these help with early Math.
10. Scrabble- great about 5 or 6 on. Encourage one app for your older child- Words With Friends and play with them.
11. Memory- Starting at 3 years old, this is sure to be a favorite. There are inexpensive memory games targeted to boys, girls, or gender neutral.
12. Play Monkey in the Middle with a third person- throw the ball over one person's head. If she catches it, she doesn't have to be the monkey anymore.

13. Dots and Boxes- my 4-year-old loves this game. The person to close the square gets to put his or her initials, which claims the square once it's time to tally up the boxes. You can play with older kids too by adding more squares.  It's great for teaching kids to think strategically. (show image)
14. Pictionary- write simple 3 letter words like "pig" "lip" for 3 year olds to read and then draw.  For older kids write out more complicated words and phrases.
15. Play Sorry. At four years old my kids have been able to play this game. With the four pieces having to make it around the board before someone wins, it's helped them learn to problem solve as well as early reading.  The Sorry cards are straight forward "move forward 3 places."  They see the number and then start to recognize words like "forward."
16. Say patterns out loud. A, B, A, B, See if your child knows A to be next in the pattern.  You may also do with numbers. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, _.  As they get older try, banana, apple, orange, banana, apple, ___?  My daughter begs to play this game whenever we're in the car.

key points from The Case for Make Believe by Susan Linn

The Case for Make Believe by Susan Linn

Boy, I’d be proud if I could say I wrote these amazingly strong messages about the value of play for children!  I am very glad I read this book so carefully.  It was fascinating and highly instructive!  I hope you find these topics as compelling as I do if you are taking care of kids!  And some of these bits of wisdom can be applied to adults as well.  I hope the highlights I listed below inspire thought and action and that you go check this book out from the library!

Notes from The Case for Make Believe by Susan Linn

·         Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood- aim is to mitigate the harmful effects of commercial culture on children

·         We need to prevent ourselves from raising a generation of children who are bored or anxious unless they are in front of a screen

·         2007 study found that children are active, not passive learners, acquiring knowledge by exploring their environment = play

·         Play flourishes in environment that is simultaneously safe and open to sponteous activity (Winnicott)

·         Just playing = “water to learn about the physical world and nature of materials” and other things that look like play but are very educational to the child

·         Using puppets in therapy to communicate with children:  each puppet can represent a different person or point of view, which can be a protected way to express unacceptable thoughts of feelings.

·         When children pretend to be attached by imaginary things, it gives them a chance to gain a sense of themselves as competent and to learn to cope with fear in smaller doses.

·         A review of 1000 studies over 30 years, a review concluded that “viewing entertainment violence can lead to increases in aggressive attitudes and behavior, particularly in children.”

·         “From the safety of ‘Once Upon a Time…’ dairy tales allow children enough distance to grapple safely with the most passionate of human emotions- grief, envy, fear, rage and joy.”

·         Violent punishments in fairy tales can be a springboard for talking about social justice issues with older children

·         Playing make-believe with children gives adults an opportunity to share new ideas and information, including those that counter prevailing sterotypes.

·         Phenomenons that coincide: Kids Growing Up Sooner AND Adults Staying Younger Longer!  (Children are taking longer to achieve real independence after college.)

·         “Developmental psychologists believe that children develop at their own rates, but that there’s no real shortcut through development stages.”

·         Middle Childhood (ages 6-12) is being eroded- First they are bombarded with toy marketing, then all the tech toys when younger, and then when older they are getting into inappropriate things sooner.

·         “The longer parents delay, the longer babies have a chance to develop the capacity to make things happen, to solve problems, to create their own amusements- to generate creative play.”

·         The skills children learn in play- critical thinking, initiative, curiosity, problem solving, and creativity, as well as more ephemeral qualities of self-reflection and empathy- are essential to thriving in and protecting a democratic society.”

·         …”These are in contrast to the values children learn from a commercially dominated media: unthinking brand loyalty, impulse buying, the notion that self-worth is defined by ownership, and a belief that consumption is the solution to all ills.”

·         Since the 1980s attention to the concern about “latchkey kids” we have come to the point where parents don’t think they have what it takes to raise kids without frequent use of screens.”

Education- at home and at school- a few links

Education takes place both at home and school!  Parents are their children's first teachers!  We can learn a lot from people who choose to homeschool, and it's a topic I'm interested in, so here is the info I have to share for now.  This used to be the "Education" page on this blog but I'm trimming down the blog to mostly posts, and not many pages.

ARTICLES

Fourth Annual Torah Home Schooling Conference Draws Participants from Far and Near (Photo Essay & Video) By BaltimoreJewishLife.com/Margie Pensak
This article is about an incredible conference that I attended, and I am quoted within.

Indoor winter fun with kids in st. louis (little kids, low cost, and mostly close by!)

Well, it's 20-ish degrees on a Sunday morning in St. Louis.  Time to put some ideas down about what to do in this weather, in this city!  Sundays are especially tricky but I encourage some planning ahead to tackle that!

http://saintlouis.kidsoutandabout.com/  Great website, just found it!  (added to list Jan. 2014)
great museum list, make sure to read all the way down! click to open in new window

INDOOR WINTER FUN IN STL WITH LITTLE KIDS!  (This might be turning into an all-ages list...)
1.  Library- our favorites are U City Public Library, St. Louis County Libraries (Mid-County in Clayton, Headquarters in Ladue, and central library downtown which was renovated and has awesome kids section)
2.  St. Louis Mills Mall (indoor playground + more for kids)
3.  Science Center!!!
4.  Discovery indoor play room @ Science Center (~$3 per person)
5.  Wild Wonder indoor play room @ Zoo ($2-3 per person)
6.  Art Museum
7.  History Museum
8.  Butterfly House
9.   Magic House
10.  City Museum
11.  Missouri Botanical Gardens has tropical dome and some other indoor spots
12.  Zoo has indoor children's zoo area, insect area, and a few other small indoor spots
13.  brewery tours (Schlaffly, Budweiser) (haha would they go for this???)
14.  World Bird Sanctuary- some indoor things to see
15.  Powder Valley Nature Center (nice indoor center, could walk outdoors a little if it isn't too frigid!)
16.  National Great Rivers Museum in Alton, IL.
17.  GATEWAY ARCH!  (has wonderful museum and films too)
18.  Hartford Coffee Shop (near Tower Grove Park) (lots of playspace meant for kids!)
19.  Kissing Nesi's soft baby cheeks!
20.  Rainbow Swing Set Superstore showroom (pay to play indoor playground store in Chesterfield)
21.  Dream Play Recreation showroom (pay to play indoor playground store in Chesterfield)
22.  Kemp Auto Museum (Chesterfield)
23.  TAKE A METROLINK or BUS RIDE!!
24.  Explore Union Station downtown
25.  Ice skating (Shaw and Forest Park outdoors, others indoors)
26.  The Heights (Richmond Heights Community Center) has pool, library, and two really special playgrounds.  we love this place!
27. Wednesday Play and Ride @ Faust Park Carousel
28.  Ladue Early Childhood Center offers a playtime on Friday mornings
29. Contemporary Art Museum has a stroller tour and play date for kids 2-5 on the first Wednesday of every month.  Been there, and it's really a nice thing to try!
21. Tour the Old Courthouse downtown, part of the Jefferson Nat'l memorial/Gateway Arch

And then there are all the commercial places like Bounce U., Monkey Joes, Little Gym, Gymboree, The Nest (brand new), Sky Zone, Sports Fusion, and places like that!  I don't have much experience there but it seems like a good idea if you want to drive out to Chesterfield.

...and I hope there are more ideas out there!

A SUB-LIST OF WHAT IS PRETTY MUCH FREE...
All the Forest Park places
try a new library
throw pennies in fountain at the mall
massive art projects!
play dates
cooking and baking projects
picnic, bonfire and cooking s'mores

...to be continued...

FAIR-WEATHER FUN
1.  See winter list; many are available year-round!!
2.  Grant's Farm
3.  Check museum and community center calendars for outdoor music
4.  Muny Theatre
5.  Numerous playgrounds to visit!
6.  Hiking trips
7.  Anandaga Caves, Meramec Caverns
8.  Cahokia Mounds
9.  Shaw Nature Reserve
10.  Theis Farm's Pumpkinland- awesome!!!
11.  Lumeier Sculpture Park
12. Purina Farms!
13.  Missouri Botanical Gardens has an incredible children's garden (and free on Wednesday and Sat. mornings for county residents!) (play places, lots of large and interesting things to climb on, nature explore classroom area, and lots of kid-level plants)
14.  Lone Elk Park- you drive through it!
15. World Bird Sanctuary
16. The working farm known as Suson Park
...and much more!

Kiwi Magazine article on Positive Discipline summarizes GREAT advice

 

Kiwi Magazine is so good that I sometimes find I am folding down a large corner of almost every page to remember to look further into a topic, buy a book, try a recipe, etc.

The June/July issue did everyone a real big favor by reminding them of one of the best resources for positive parenting solutions!

Headers:

 All behavior is goal oriented

kids have intrinsic need for belonging and significance

preempt outbursts for power by giving choices & spending time together

correct with the 5 R's of consequences

and for the rest of the details read Amy McCready's book which I reviewed and gave some more highlights from in a recent post, or see:

positiveparentingsolutions.com and If I Have to Tell You One More Time

CAMP NORAH- by moms, for kids! Torah, nature, art & lots of fun!

Wow, have April to June been busy, ever since spring arrived and summer started coming on the horizon! 

I'm on Instagram, joined Twitter to follow news (but not using it much yet!), using FB for PR and staying connected, setting up daycamp with Daniela, working the garden with Adira, preparing for summer sewing workshops, and keeping up with my busy hubby, cruising angel Nesi, and always-bustling home full of cooking, cleaning, and designing to dos!  

I'm thankful to my family and friends for their support on these many fronts.  Please browse my recent posts and let me know what you think- and if you'd like to sign up or be involved in any of my summer projects!

flyer for CAMP NORAH :) campnorah@gmail.com, see our FB group, or call us!

 

Update on our yard, deck, and garden work

A basketball analogy and some oldies-but-goodies I found on parenting

Basketball analogy: When fouled, don’t react equally because then YOU could get a foul (personal foul) too.  Pretend to act mechanically to discipline- not like you've been emotionally involved.  If your child is misbehaving, be diplomatic, so you don't end up doing something wrong also.

In conflict, say in a kind voice:  I don’t want this to happen!  We were all playing so nicely.  But we have a safe and pleasant house for everyone....

If you are having trouble making a larger positive habit-change as a parent, try JUST ONE HOUR a day- i.e., don’t react with anger for just that one hour and let it grow.

Give toddlers freedom and time to play- play is practicing for life and play is personal growth!

As parents, give all the time we need for proper routines and teaching/learning middos (character development) around the house. 

On rushing: Anything done that requires rushing is going to compromise our parenting ideals, because we can't give kids the time they need to practice and learn and do things independently and right if we have to rush them.  

 

·  Try to keep your child's actions in perspective. If this were someone else's child, would you be so upset by the behavior?

·  Think about why your child is acting the way he is, instead of just getting mad. This will help you think of ways to help your child.