My Mom's Legacy

My mom was a very sincere person whose genuine actions matched her good heart.  She lived a values-driven life.  She was soft-spoken, not loud and dominating, but a friend to all who didn't seek attention or spot-light.  Her actions said the most about her.  (See below on the bookmark for some of her diligent good deeds.)  She was modest in many ways.  She wasn't such a fancy person- she didn't wear make-up or dress up a lot (but of course did so very nicely for synagogue, parties, with her good jewelry, etc!)  For the many years when the four of us kids were school aged, Mom prioritized being there for my dad and us- she filled her days with family matters, volunteering at the schools and synagogue, exercise (speed walking laps around our steep cul-de-sac with dog on leash), etc.  She was an excellent correspondent and kept up frequently with her friends.  She had so many close friends who trusted her and loved her.  She loved scrapbooking and photography.  She was very well informed of the news and loved being active in fun and educational local activities.  She was a phenomenal family historian and kept everyone in the family connected.  She learned to play piano as an adult, loved to read, and made a welcoming home for us, our extended family, and our friends.  She cheered at our sporting events and drove lots of Hebrew school carpools, enabling our education and extracurricular activities.  She taught us to be responsible and modeled being a good person.  She was creative, diligent, well-rounded and caring.  When she laughed it often turned to tears of laughter!  She respected all kinds of people and valued diversity.

There are many attributes I could focus on when telling of my mom's legacy, but one of my favorites to focus on and try to emulate is how patient Mom was with us as kids.  She was strict on behavior and manners but loving and soft spoken.  I'm constantly striving to improve as a parent and it helps to think about how she parented. 

We will always appreciate how much our mom and dad did for us growing up, and how they supported us as we grew older.  We are so grateful to still have my wise, fun, and loving dad around!!!  Mom, your influence will never be forgotten and your legacy lives on with so many people.  We love you and miss you, Mom!

This is the text of a commemorative book mark that I distributed to about 300 family and friends at my mom's memorial service in Portland, Oregon.  I call it the "Mom-mark."

Julie Brophy–our beloved mom, wife, relative, and friend- of blessed memory- 1/4/54-10/2/10- Lessons We Learned From Her

click here for VIDEO 2.5 minute video of IMAGES with voice-over of Mom-mark words (amateur but a good way to learn the lessons visually!)

September 2009

Be Honest. Be Modest. Be Good.

Whatever you do, do it with dedication.

Preserve your memories- the extraordinary and the everyday, too.

Plant a lot of flowers, look at them often, pick for friends.

Look for hummingbirds. 
Volunteer in your community, and sometimes for hard jobs.

Pursue new skills and learn new things at all ages, to keep your mind sharp.

Travel.

When hard times come, complaining & negativity don't help. Face illness with grace and bravery.  You can find the strength.

Keep in touch!

Greet everyone with a smiling face.

Enjoy the special things about the place you live.

Indulge in delicious little things daily.

Front side of bookmark

Throw parties often and give special gifts.

Make exercise a daily habit.

Know your family's funny stories well and repeat them often.

Tell your family's history.

Make peace within yourself & help others find it.

Try to be on time.

Show gratitude.

Appreciate what you have for its intrinsic value.

Cultivate patience.

Strive for your potential.

Laugh heartily, and enjoy good jokes as well as corny ones!

Back side of bookmark 

Hug and kiss often.

Live by your values.

Enjoy animals.

Give blood.

Appreciate everything you have and don't take it for granted.

Our Mother's Wisdom for Raising Families:

Everyone should help take care of the home.

Everyone works until the job is done.

Clean up as you go. 
Always say please and thank you.

Joke around.

Write thank you notes before you use the gift.                                                Mom was amazing with kids!

Leave clear phone messages and give good directions.

Even kids should give part of their money to charity.

Love lots.

This quote from our Jewish sages sums up a lot about my mother.  This is not an easy level to achieve but my mom really did it.  “Make your Torah study fixed, say little and do much, and receive everyone with a pleasant countenance."  Ethics of the Fathers 1:15

NEW GEM :) Thought of it on her 5th yartzheit/2015:

"Get organized and keep good records, but allow yourself a few small places for junk and favorite treasures!"

Mom was famous (at least within our family) for the great packing lists she had for camping trips (with notes of what worked and failed), the great family tree histories she completed, being a great secretary of gifts received (for TY note writing purposes), and more.  She was extremely organized, but made it look easy (because it most likely made life easier to be organized, as I find for myself!)  She had a "junk drawer" in the kitchen full of random items for downstairs use.  She also had a long dresser in her bedroom (now it's in mine!) beautifully arranged with artifacts from her four decades of travels, kids' school projects, and little treasures, and a place in some of the drawers for special things.

Julia Pearl Brophy is survived by her four children, husband, brothers, and granddaughter.  (Now she has another granddaughter, who is named after her. And as of 11/28/16, she has a grandson too.)

Message from Kate:  I did not exaggerate my mom’s nature in order to write this poetic list of lessons learned.  She genuinely taught her family and friends lasting life lessons regarding every single one of these statements.  May her memory be for a blessing.

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