Book review

 If I Have to Tell You One More Time... : The Revolutionary Program That Gets Your Kids to Listen Without Nagging, Reminding, or Yelling by Amy McCready

This book is awesome.  It covers SO many of the most important parenting lessons I've read about everywhere else.

Toolbox Solutions for parents:
1 Mind, Body, and Soul Time- with kids
2 The Calm Voice - the power of mirroring!
3 Encouragement (not praise!)
4 Take Time for Training (teaching kids how to do things right)
5 Choices (gives the feeling of power)
6 Decide what you do (the parents-your reaction is the only thing you can truly control)
7 Control the environment (set up the environment for your kids to succeed)
8 When-Then (say it, fill in the blanks, and walk away! Be consistent.)
9 Make when-then routines the boss.  (The routine that makes things work for all different kinds of day)
10 Natural Consequences (Kid causes it) (requires 5 R's below so it works fairly and effectively)
-Respectful
-Related
-Reasonable
-Revealed in advance
-Repeat it back to you
11 Logical Consequences (similar to #10, but when #10 isn't available or practical or would take too long to play out.  For example: hitting)
12 Either-Or Consequences
13 Ignore Undue-Attention Requests
14 Attention Overload (fill up their "meter" before you really need good behavior)
15 Invite Cooperation (Respectful rather than demanding way to make request. Saves "face" for the kid) (Sometimes needs a follow-up tool such as When-Then
16 Withdraw from Conflict
17 Using "I Feel" Statements (I feel...when you....  I wish...)
18 Stay Out of Fights (siblings)
19 Teach Conflict Resolution Options
20 Helpful Parent Involvement (to intervene when necessary in a conflict.  Try the "sportscaster" narration role.
21 All in it Together.  (Everyone who is part of the fight has the same consequence.)
22-23 Basic Family Meeting

Start, Stop Continue
"3 Things I'd like to start:
3 Things I'd like to stop:
3 Things I'd like to continue:"