The beginning of a milestone school year & parenting transitions

As of last week, both of our kids are in school full day!  They are doing great!

The full school day schedule is intended to enable me to re-launch my teaching career and be available to work- first as a substitute in public and private schools, and later as a specialized and certified full teacher.  Until that process accelerates, I am catching up on procrastinated projects around the house and working on a very exciting Tot Shabbat program for NHBZ Congregation, which I will lead three times over the Tishrei holidays and monthly thereafter.  Working on the program has given me the chance to appreciate all that I can contribute to the community at large, which would be a bit more dormant during kids-at-home times.  It's nice to return to developing my professional self for more time each day, but it's with mixed feelings, as I miss all the kid time!

This change of schedule is a big deal!  I am used to have Adira home from 12pm onwards every school day, and Nesya home every day!  I definitely miss them a lot when they are at school longer.  I was their primary influence for the last three years and five and a a half years, respectively, and now they are being entrusted to their morahs and teachers.

Now, I am acknowledging my feelings of missing them during the long day, but also looking at it from a new perspective.  I am able to get so much done without as many snack and meal times, squabble-resolving, and kids' activities.  It's quite grand!  The time is passing fairly quickly as I have enough to do for now.  And I'm really excited about going back into work, and I hope that picks up very soon.

One new and important perspective is that I am trying to be the kind of mother they will long to "be like" when they are older, the way I feel about my mom's legacy.  I think about her so much and try to emulate her qualities.  I have finally come to truly understand now how the relationship with one's parents really sets the tone for one's connection with the Almighty.  It's still hard to articulate, but I will figure that out and share more later



hours per day together
current:
Both kids on school days: 5 hours together at home, 7.5 @ school
past:
Nesya beforel: 12 hours together, 0 @ school
Adira before: 8 hours together, 4 @ school

Since I have fewer hours with the kids now, I can focus those hours of being the best person I can be with them.  During the daytime hours (and after their bedtimes), I need to focus on getting my "adult level" stuff done, so I can be the role model and mommy I want for our kids.  That goal is pretty attainable, and maybe I can do an even better job in those concentrated hours than I did spread out over many more hours.  HOWEVER, I will not concede that QUANTITY of hours is crucial for child development/bonding with parents.  So I am very happy and so very thankful that I spent so MANY hours with our kids before, even if not every hour was perfect.  It doesn't have to be that way in the early childhood years.  It's just important to BE together.  Of course, quality time is so important throughout those long days together.  But the balance the kids learn to live in that stage is an important lesson too- sometimes Mommy is busy, and "I can make my own self happy."

In conclusion, it was a wonderful and growth- and learning-filled first 3 years with our darling Nesya at home, and now we can watch her blossom as a kid.  It was a precious 5.5 years with our tzadekes (righteous/good) Adira mostly at home, and now she can start learning to read, do math, and more Torah and Hebrew.   The most important thing is to go on nurturing our kids' secure and loving relationships with their parents, their character development, and their curiosity about the world, Judaism and G-d.