The Rebbetzin's Parenting Chabura- notes March 2013


Oppositional defiant disorder book for older kids by Douglas Riley
Best thing for this kind of kid is (in summary): structure and boundaries and follow through, choices they can make, and humor. Humor can be the best new approach!
 
When kids see people not living the way we do, and it looks enticing, help them articulate why Torah life is wonderful.  The best way to keep our kids strong in their faith is to make everything so joyful that they love doing it.

How to build self-esteem:
Give kids the skills to do things
Teach social skills
Give leadership roles
Praise the middos and effort, not just a job done perfectly
Avoid labeling them or criticism bc it can be so detrimental!
Tell daddy in front of kids about mitzvahs they did
Ask kids for advice- makes them feel good about themselves
'I'd bet my last dollar on you!' (from Daniella's mother)- I have so much faith in you
I trust you to do this well
Make sure they know that there is a difference between making mistakes and 'being bad.'
Write them a note for them to see somewhere, like in lunch or under pillow, telling something nice.